September 28th, 2015

HeatHoops.com is website designed for Miami Heat basketball fans and fans of the NBA in general. It was started as a means to show the world exactly how the salary cap, luxury tax and all related figures are actually calculated, and has gradually expanded to what it is today.

HeatHoops.com was founded in January 2010 and is owned and operated by me, Albert Random.


About Your Author. He is a 36-year-old former bulge bracket investment banker who spent the better part of a decade out in Silicon Valley making an absolute fortune specializing in large-scale mergers and acquisitions advisory to many of the world’s leading technology companies, only to quit the job at which he achieved unparalleled success, move back home to Miami, piss away his fortune in the stock market, and fall into a deep state of depression.

In an attempt to break this cycle of depression, he made a decision to re-enter civilization for only a day, by agreeing to take part in a Saturday afternoon boat ride with his cousins. This quite intelligent individual utilized his day of freedom to dive head first off the then-anchored boat into the Haulover Sandbar. The massive force of the resulting collision caused a violent compression of his spine, fracturing three cervical vertebrae, including a C5 burst fracture which sent retropulsed bone fragments spiraling toward his spinal cord that left him strong-side paralyzed. Trying repeatedly to rise up out of the water only to fall back over due to an inability to control a leg is an odd (and terrifying) sensation, perhaps matched only by the inability to brace each fall with a lifeless arm.

It was about fifteen minutes later that he realized his paralysis would not be permanent (several bone shards were pressing against the cord but apparently still another millimeter or so away from transecting it). It was about three motionless days later that he had two beloved but now herniated intervertebral discs removed, several unstable vertebral bits retracted, and two bone grafts, a titanium plate, and six titanium screws surgically implanted onto his spine. It was about six weeks later that his recovery was deemed to be a success – leaving only a small scar, some minor flexion and extension limitations, some perhaps permanent but relatively minor intermittent numbness and tingling, and some massive unrepaired emotional trauma.

He has since become a recluse. He now struggles daily with a mild form of hypochondria, the searing pain of having lost his fortune, and the debilitating anxiety of how his injury and lack of funds will impact his future. He spends his days angry at the world, dividing his time between his bed and his computer.

He has done away with all manner of athletic activity, including past loves for golf, tennis, basketball, football and weightlifting. He instead burns energy and releases frustration by utilizing his dominant hand against concrete, a battle which can never be won, which has led to swelling, scarring, bruising, bleeding, and multiple fifth metacarpal fractures. He is, in a word, broken.

This sort of lifestyle lends itself to a great deal of spare time, during which he happened to come across, read through and understand the NBA Collective Bargaining Agreement, Operating Manual, Constitution and Bylaws. In an attempt to stave off boredom, he decided to start this blog and pass along any knowledge he has to you fine people. He also provides assistance wherever he can across the universe of NBA basketball, including, proudly, to the NBA itself and its teams.

He considers himself to have an exceptionally strong predisposition to matters of finance and law, and takes an unhealthy interest in situations which require great complexity and creativity. On those rare instances in which he still utilizes the full weight of his talents, he does so to help others realize their own dreams.


 If you want to get in touch with me, please feel free to email me at Albert@HeatHoops.com.

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